I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
