yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize