I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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