He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
