woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
