I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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