Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
