remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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