I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
