Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
