I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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