I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
4 words: hood of his car
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
