Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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