the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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