She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
