I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
