FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize