oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize