I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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