Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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