ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My liver just had a heart attack.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
