Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
