i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
