Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i would punch a child for taco bell
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
