is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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