You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
