just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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