Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.