So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka