i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
