Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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