you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
