and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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