Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
