why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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