Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
