If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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