Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
