You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
