sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
