i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
