Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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