bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My dick has a subreddit
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
