dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
