I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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