it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
