before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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