I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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