remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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