Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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