He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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