What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
