ugly people sure do ruin things
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
