I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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