Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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