I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
