i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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