dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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