I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
