Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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