i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
