You can't special order awesome
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
